So, let's not dilly dally and start the Q&A. :)
How did you and your partner meet?
Leah: We met through OkCupid, a dating app, which I highly highly recommend to those who are not afraid to explore their options online.
Luke: I always tell her to not push everyone to that app because what worked for us may not work for other people.
How long have you guys been together?
Sept 27, 2018 will be our 4th year anniversary. We were in a long-distance relationship for 2 yrs and 5 months and we've been married for 1 year and 5 months now.
What is your & your partner's nationality?
I am Filipina and he is American. :)
What is the biggest pet peeve in your relationship?
Leah: When he doesn't want me to take photos and videos of him when we go out or when we travel (He's slowly warming up though.✨)
Luke: When she cooks her dried fishes. They stink.
How do you deal with your interracial differences?
Leah: We follow the golden rule not only in our marriage but also in how we deal with other people outside of our relationship. We treat the other person the way we want to be treated. There is no room for pride, no room for hatred. And we value the power of communication and touch. There are times when all we need is hold each other's hands and everything is right in the world again.
Luke: You talk about those differences and you never ever rub it in your wife's face that she is wrong and that you're right. We say Sorry and Thank You a lot. Even when it's as simple as her cooking dinner or her making me a cup of coffee, I tell her Thank You and for me, that goes a long way. She says Thank You too when we go out to eat and I pay the bill. She didn't have to do that since my money is technically her money too and we share bank accounts, but her saying Thank You makes me feel that I am doing something right and that no effort is left unnoticed. And that just pushes me to treat her better than I already do.
What was the worst problem you've encountered in your relationship?
Leah: We have never fought. At all. That is something I am very very proud of. I always tell other people that it is possible to maintain an argument-free marriage or relationship because we were told since time immemorial that a relationship that has arguments and fights is normal. But Luke and I believe that all differences can be settled if you are willing to sit down, talk about it and hear what the other person wants to say. Couples resort to arguments because they want to prove themselves right and the other person wrong. With us, we are each other's best friend. We talk about everything. And whenever we deal with issues outside of our marriage, he is always on my corner as much as I am always on his. We don't raise our voices at each other, we don't give each other the cold shoulder. We were able to make each other feel that no matter what happens, and no matter how different our perspectives are about certain things, we have each other's respect.
Luke: Well, I would say the whole process of getting the visa and then getting married. Although we pretty much got really lucky with all of the processes we had to go through to get her to come here (the visa and greencard), I honestly think it's not enough to be hitched here in the States so getting married in the Philippines is something we look forward to in the near future. I would really want for us to experience the 'high' of getting married in church.
What quality do you like most about your partner?
Leah: What do I like most? He has proved to be EVERYTHING I have ever dreamed of and I am not kidding. Kind-hearted, a gentleman, articulate and educated, genuine, honest, responsible, hardworking, respectful and truly faithful to me and our marriage, very affectionate even in public or in front of his family and our friends, very funny too! Being good-looking, tall and good in the kitchen are just some added bonus. 😝
Luke: Her cooking and she helps me think clearly and she is very, very positive. Also, she's not fake. There are so many women out there who are just in it for the money and the citizenship, but not her. I am also proud of the woman I married because she is very hardworking and loves her family very much and she's a nurse too! She can carry herself well, she can pay her bills, she is very independent, and she is very light-hearted. She's just a breath of fresh air.
What was the best gift you have ever received from your partner?
Leah: His commitment to me and our marriage.
Luke: Genuine love and lots of head scratches.
What was the greatest sacrifice you've done for your partner so far?
Leah: Leaving my comfort zone to follow him here in America is definitely the greatest sacrifice I have ever done for him. I left my friends and family in Dubai, a good-paying job and flew across the globe a lot farther than I already was from my parents in the Philippines.
Luke: Flying out of the country for the first time in my life to meet her in person.
What makes your relationship unique and special?
Leah: I think what makes it unique and special is that we have never argued because we have a way of resolving everything by talking it over. Also, people these days are all about worldly goods, attention and being superficial. Luke and I are very grounded and we both know that more than anything, we are each other's true treasure.
Luke: We're not driven by competitiveness against each other. Both of us balance each other out. We try to do everything as equal as possible and we are both 'domestic' - we know how to do household chores, we clean up after ourselves, we know the value of money, we are both bread winners & we are down-to-earth kind of people. We deal with everything as a TEAM, especially when it comes to making decisions that would greatly affect both of us and our marriage, we work on everything together.
What do you look forward to in your relationship on the next 10 years?
Leah: Sharing many more firsts with him, and making more memories together.
Luke: Getting a place of our own and enjoying each other's company as much as we can, I look forward to having so many firsts to share with her.
What advice can you give to other LDR couples out there?
Leah: Communication, Honesty, Respect, and Time are keys to make it work. If all of these are there, then love will follow. And long distance relationships are not for everyone. If you want to be in one, be so committed to the person and the relationship just as how much you're committed to whatever your passion in life is. Also, have faith. Pray for your relationship to work. He hears you and will answer your prayer in His time.
Luke: Ask yourself if you are willing and ready to be in a long distance relationship. A lot of people already tried but failed. You need to ask yourself first because if you're not into it, you won't make it. Spare the other person of the hurt it could cause them if you ever change your mind and decide it is not something you want to commit to. Keep the communication lines open and above all, be honest.
I couldn't agree more with this statement, "Communication, Honesty, Respect, and Time are keys to make any relationship (long distance, non-long distance, etc.) work". And as I enjoyed reading their genuine answers, I know you will get something from it too!
Through this post, I would like to extend my appreciation to the Haberl couple for entertaining my questions. Not yet satisfied? You can visit https://happilyhaberlafter.wordpress.com/ to know them even more!
That's it! See you again guys on my next feature!
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