Marriage: Does It Matter Who Go First?

I always recall the days I and my husband (when we were still courting) spent together strengthening our relationship, building each other's faith up and celebrating the love we had. I believe that these things are essential to make a relationship work. As per our favorite bible passage states, "Two is better than one... For if one of them falls, the other can help his partner up." - Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10. That is also how I saw the secret person of the heart, his motives, and what his real personality is. His goals became attainable for him. He showed me he is someone who is firm to his words, that I can trust what he said, and he never dilly dally in doing what is best. Humans are not perfect, you might say, but that imperfection doesn't need to inhibit any good deeds in the first place. And we are all unique too. We differ from each other and that is certain.

I remembered a friend telling me to be careful, that maybe, I am just seeing through a pink glasses. She was right when she advised me to be diligent and careful, so I did what I have to do to avoid doing anything to make any mistakes. The good thing is, I never did it alone. In our relationship, we both worked together, we both did our parts. We never had downfalls, or we did not have lots of downfalls I should say. Another reason for that is, our families were the best support we can ever had!

So anyway, far from the very long introduction, does it really matter who marries first?

I believe not.

There is no "too young" or "too old" as per say for marriage. It is a bond of union given to us by God. Nobody should decide for you whether you are too young or too old to fall in love and finally tie the knot. Other people can just suggest, but they do not have the last words for one's decision.

If you are in your late 20s or early 30s, people might tell you to tie the knot if you're in a relationship. You can marry whenever you want but please, you should not just fall into someone else's voice telling you what you should do and what you should want. Don't give in to pressure. You are better than that. We are all created to have the sense of thinking, reasoning or judgment. We should all use this freedom wisely. If you have no doubts and really want to marry, then go on. As long as it is in legal terms and so.

If you are young and you've decided, no one can get into you of preventing this to happen. If they want to get married first before you, then kick their butt out and work on it. Marriage isn't a race. It is a personal choice.

And since people have always something to say, they never thought it is a very strong force for others. Can't they just keep it to themselves and shut up? It's funny to think that way because that will never happen. They can just say whatever they want even without thinking just because they have a very shallow reasoning.

I think I have portrayed what my message is. So, I'm out of here. Kbye.

My Life as a Working Housewife

I can't believe that this is my second week already since I was launched. It is quite a challenge since it's just now that I had a regular freelance job online.

Yes! Despite the mishap mentioned on my last post, I finally passed and accepted the job. I had several trainings, some paperwork, and demos, then after, I was in. The last thing I remember is that I am in the front of the computer at nine o'clock, teaching my last student for the day. I already had some several worse cases, funny ones, and awesome classes.

So now, this is how my life goes. I love taking good care of my husband as he takes good care of me physically and for my spiritual needs. It is always thrilling to do things for him since he is such an appreciative one.

What I love the most is shopping! I think that's every girl's best friend. But I am not talking about buying stuffs I want just because. This means grocery shopping. We only eat twice a day because we are strictly following our fasting pattern. You can read how we do it here: https://dutchpinay.blogspot.com/2018/02/wedding-preparation-fastest-way-to-lose.html. So far, since we started, we are on the same weight every single day. It is a very good maintenance practice I find. Anyways, groceries are my kryptonite, aside from my husband of course. My feet always pull me to supermarkets when I'm out. That is why I call it, my Happy Place. I will just roam around, look at the seasoning section, look at the fruit section, look at the baking section, then go back to the seasoning section and that's it. There's not really that much to see in these sections but they're pretty inviting to me.

Everyday, we also try to go to service and preach more as possible. We are happy that we have each other now and do not need to be separated when going out and going home. It is such a nice feeling.

To sum up that one and a half months that GJ and I are together, it has never been better! I am always praying that everything will stay the same no matter what.

Such a Bad Day

It was Tuesday afternoon when I first received their call. It was one of the online teaching companies I applied for since G and I got married. There were only two actually. So then, after picking up the call, I was scheduled for a technical check to see if my PC and internet connection passed the requirements. I was super tired that day and I still went on with the scheduled checking. Time came and I was like five minutes late. My mistake is that I did not apologized being late but then went through the checking proper. There is my husband ever supportive of providing what I need, like the LAN cable for example. Tests did not went well at first (my processor is handling too much stuff so it is slow apparently). So I used another PC, my husband's PC. It had problem with Skype at first so we need to wait until it's good. While doing so, I kept on updating the checker about my status, simply because it got into me that I do not want her to wait for me without notifying her what's happening. And so finally, everything went good. She called me and when we were having the call, she complained that my video image was pixelated. So she told me that she's giving me 5 minutes to fix it. And so we tried our best to see what's the problem. We called others and confirmed that my image quality has improved. I then asked her to call me again. Oh, and she mentioned that she had a Skype problem. An hour passed, and I have not heard of anything. It's then past 2100h when I messaged her that I cannot wait any longer. It is really taking too much of my time just waiting. And it came to the point that I became paranoia, hearing Skype call though there's none. Right after I send my message that it's better to reschedule, she called again and even demanded me to answer her call. I did it, making sure everything from my end is running good, so we can talk better. I might had a good reception for her, but her call was laggy so I complained. She told me that she had a recent call and it was good. That statement made me think, we started at six and it was nine already. She had been gone for an hour and now that I'm telling her that she's in a bad line, she said she had a call and it was good. She did not receive any call while I was waiting, I hope. Because that would really piss me off. That is such a waste of me and my husband's time. And not just that, she sounded so bossy and hanged the phone up before I even say thanks. That time, I wanted to withdraw my application and tell them that I don't want to be a part of a company with that kind of attitude of an employee. She might be having a bad hair day, or having her very first day of her period, but treating someone like that is really not reasonable. Before hanging up, she said that I need to do something then she will call again. I thought, no, I never want to call with you again. She showed me anything but pleasant. And that even broke me out. I was super blessed having my husband to console me. He even made me tea to replace the tears that was lost. Haha.

I turned off my PC and head off to the bedroom. Took my shower and enjoyed the strawberry mango tea G prepared for me.

On the other hand, I am blaming myself for being so sensitive with people's attitude toward others. Although I definitely know why are these things happening. I also thought that I am so weak and I do not have that strong personality to fight for my right.

How To Get Legal Capacity Through the Dutch Embassy In The Philippines

Hoi allemaal! As part of the preparation for GJ and I's wedding, we need to obtain a paper from the Dutch Embassy here in the Philippines which is called Legal Capacity or Huwelijksbevoegdheidsverklaring. It is a document that states a Dutch citizen is able to contract marriage to his Filipina fiance, and prove that one has no record of previous marriage or so.

Since GJ and I are going to marry here in the Philippines, we need to go to the Dutch embassy to acquire one. Before setting an appointment with them, here are the documents both parties need to prepare. Again, this is only applicable for those who are in a Dutch-Filipina relationship and will have their wedding in the Philippines.

For Filipina;

• Authenticated PSA Birth Certificate (click here on how to get one)
• Authenticated PSA Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR)
• Philippine Passport

Initially, these documents will be given to you in regular forms. But before heading to the Dutch Embassy, you need to have your documents authenticated. This is the papers with red ribbon and stamp on it. I had my documents authenticated at the DFA satellite office inside SM Megamall and cost Php100 per document (regular processing time). After four or more working days, your authenticated documents are ready for pick up. (You can opt for a faster or expedited processing time of 1 working day for Php200 per document.) Both my birth certificate and certificate of no marriage were authenticated. (Click here to know how to get your papers authenticated or legalized.)

For Dutch;

• Dutch Passport
• Authenticated Birth Certificate
• Authenticated Civil Status Certificate
• Divorce certificate (applicable only if previously married)

All of the Dutch documents should be translated into English. That is why GJ got his papers from the city hall, and then after, have them translated, then authenticated at the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs and then at Philippine Embassy in The Hague, the Netherlands. Authenticated documents from the Philippine Embassy also comes in red ribbon. Make sure to have enough photocopy of each and every page of these documents as well.

Once all of the documents are ready, you can now book an appointment at VFS Global (still the agency which process Dutch Visa in the Philippines). Click here to redirect to VFS Global Booking page. This application is called "Certificate of Legal Capacity to Marry". It costs 30EUR or depending on the current exchange rate in PHP.

If all of the documents are correct, Certificate of Legal Capacity will be released the same day. (We got GJ's in less than an hour. There's Ayala Park in front of the BDO Equitable Building where Dutch Embassy is situated and you can roam around there if you want. There's also Starbucks beside the building and it is where we chose to kill the time.)

And that's it. With all these papers on hand, verified (checked multiple times for correctness) and authenticated, you will be able to attain a Legal Capacity.

For supplementary information, do not hesitate to leave a comment below. Doei!

UPDATE: EMBASSY REQUIREMENTS FOR DUTCH NATIONALS WHO WISH TO MARRY IN THE PHILIPPINES

Requirements:

• International Birth Certificate from the Gemeente. The Birth Certificate should first be legalized by the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs (Ministerie van Buitenlandse Zaken) located at Bezuidenhoutseweg 67, 2594AC Den Haag with tel. no. 07.03.48.64.86
• International Certificate of Single Status from the Gemeente legalized by the Ministerie van Buitenlandse Zaken also.
• After the two documents (International Birth Certificate & International Certificate of Single Status) have been legalized by the Ministerie van Buitenlandse Zaken bring it to the Philippine Embassy in The Hague for legalization. Check the legalization fee at the bottom.
• Upon arrival in the Philippines, report to the Dutch Embassy in Manila or Dutch Consulate in Cebu for issuance of the Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage.

Please note that the above requirements are only for civil marriage. Please inquire from the local parish church for additional requirements.

Basic Fees:
Euro 25 (Legalization of Birth Certificate)
Euro 25 (Legalization of Certificate of Single Status)

source: http://www.thehaguepe.dfa.gov.ph/

Wedding Preparation: Fastest Way to Lose Weight

So here's the deal. I only got less than three months before my big day. Though not all people knows it because I like keeping it as a secret (BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS ASK ABOUT IT AND IT IS KIND OF TIRING!). Or maybe, I am just really not the kind of person who let the world knows what happens in my life. No, not really like that.

Anyways, as I've mentioned, I only got few months before my big day. And for now, I weigh 53.9kg (or let's say, 54kg). It is not as bad as I think but it is best if I'll be able to lose a little bit weight and fit on my dress on my wedding day. That's the catch. On every wedding day, the bride to always make sure that they look best with the dress and they're sexy enough to look on photos.

I am not really so strict with how I look. I don't actually mind if I have this weight on my wedding day or not. But people around me are so conscious that made me want to cut my size, which I think is not bad.

Last time, I felt really stressed out that I almost passed out when I am doing a workout. That is just insane. And yes, I stopped doing it, for what sense if I'm gonna die doing it.

Today, I've decided to do Intermittent Fasting. Last night when we are having dinner with a small group of friends and family, our host talked about this eating habit cycle, one of the best and easiest way to lose weight.

It has a very minimal requirement. A weighing scale, and yourself ready to do it to be healthier and more fit. Since the name clearly tells how it will be done, this kind of fasting or eating habit requires discipline and courage. There will be times that your body will tell your mind that you're hungry at a specific time of the day. You need to control it to reach the 18hours fasting stage or 16hours fasting stage or whichever span you prefer. And then, when you reached the last hour, you now have the time to break you fast any way you like. You can eat anything you want as long as it is not pizza, or burger and fries, oh well, that's really up to you. But hey, we are talking about healthy here, so probably those kinds of stuff are not on the list. You want to eat as healthy as possible. And oh, you can still even drink coffee or tea or water. It is good as long as you are not talking any kind of carbohydrate.

What's behind of losing weight here is that your body burns your body fat as an alternative to the fats you got from food. You will release a lot of growth hormone and you don't need to use or drink supplements since you will stay young and age slow. Your body can fight more bacteria so you will not really get sick. There's a lot of things your body can do if it is not busy digesting food and producing more insulin, right?

Now, I am marking my calendar that I am going to this intermittent fasting until the day of my wedding. For that short time, I want to know if it will work for me and help me achieve my goal of fitting and looking good on my wedding dress.

I will try to update you guys how it works for me and also the result.

So yep, I hope you have a wonderful week ahead. Doie!!