Dating a Dutch Guy; Things I Learned About
Hallo allemaal. Me and my fiance have been dating for quite some years now and I am still learning lots of things about him and his culture. Being in an interracial relationship was never easy. But since I have been a very good observer and submitter (at least that's how I feel. Hihi), I came to understand his reasons and we are doing it right (not all, but most of the important things).
They say that Dutch people dress messy. As per what they say about dressing, I am just so not into believing that Dutch people don't care how they look. Wearing jeans is very comfy, but hey! They are very fashionable and conscious with their style too. Though it might apply to most of the Dutch in the Netherlands, I am happy I have my partner which does not fall in this category. My stay in the Netherlands proved this statement wrong. Might apply to ladies hair (they just tie them up like what I usually do or wring it tight for convenience) but never with their dress and clothing. My fiance loves wearing stylish clothes but also depends on his attire to the event.
Clean your table. One of the characters of being a Westerner that I admire the most. Whenever we go out and eat at fast food restaurants, he initiates to clean our table and leave no trash behind. I noticed that when we ate at McDonald's. In the country where I live is a total opposite. People are used of letting the staff clean the table for them, reasoning that it is what they're hired for. But considering the amount of work they might have done if you'll clean your table, they can be more productive. So every time we eat out, I just make sure that I piled everything up for the staffs' ease of cleaning.
Butterfly Fly Away
GJ just went to a trip to Canada and he will be there for two and a half weeks. It's been a long time since we had a LDR state and have to be apart from each other. When he arrived in the Philippines, it is like we are seeing every single day. We eat together, we study together, and we work together.
I will miss you baby. See you at the end of the month!
I will miss you baby. See you at the end of the month!
Struggles of an Interracial Relationship
There's no perfect woman, neither a perfect man. There's no perfect relationships. So let's face the fact, every relationship has its own struggles, own ups and downs, own waves of laughter and tears.
But talking about interracial relationship is a different story. Here's comes in different languages, different culture, different behaviour, different insights, different perspective and different understanding. If you are having a foreign mate, then you are one of us.
The following are some of the factors (in random order) that affect those who are in an interracial relationship. Let's see and think of how can we use them to strengthen one's relationship and make it even healthier.
Language
Titled as the top relationship struggle, relationships sometime end without formal closure. One cannot force the other to learn their language if they don't want to. This is why being patient is needed. Take time. Establish an open communication. Teach one another how to converse openly about what they think and what they feel.
Distance
Let's admit it. This is the worst enemy an interracial relationship can have. Five hours difference, six, seven, eight? That sucks I know.
Race
Other people feel that they are superior than the others, that they are more knowledgeable about life and stuff. Sometimes, peoples' color also adds to pressure.
Culture
When they say that this is how they do things, how will you react? Will you be smart to think first before bursting to anger? Will you listen first to what they have to say about the matter? Or you will get mad right after they shared their thoughts about it?
Physical Interaction
Body language, the tone, and loudness of voice, eye contact. These are important to know the inner person of one's mate. Yes, you call via facetime, video call via Skype, talk endlessly over the phone. But does that really shows up what a person feels and how they want to react?
Financial Status
Since there are a lot of opportunities for those who live in industrialized countries, they have better financial status than others. That is the agony of not having a luxury of choices. In this regard, those who don't have a choice sometimes seek to be supported by their partners.
You think you're experiencing all these? No worries. Your relationship will not fail. It just take communication and serious planning.
You're still thinking of other factors? Share it with us in the comment section bellow!
But talking about interracial relationship is a different story. Here's comes in different languages, different culture, different behaviour, different insights, different perspective and different understanding. If you are having a foreign mate, then you are one of us.
The following are some of the factors (in random order) that affect those who are in an interracial relationship. Let's see and think of how can we use them to strengthen one's relationship and make it even healthier.
Language
Titled as the top relationship struggle, relationships sometime end without formal closure. One cannot force the other to learn their language if they don't want to. This is why being patient is needed. Take time. Establish an open communication. Teach one another how to converse openly about what they think and what they feel.
Distance
Let's admit it. This is the worst enemy an interracial relationship can have. Five hours difference, six, seven, eight? That sucks I know.
Race
Other people feel that they are superior than the others, that they are more knowledgeable about life and stuff. Sometimes, peoples' color also adds to pressure.
Culture
When they say that this is how they do things, how will you react? Will you be smart to think first before bursting to anger? Will you listen first to what they have to say about the matter? Or you will get mad right after they shared their thoughts about it?
Physical Interaction
Body language, the tone, and loudness of voice, eye contact. These are important to know the inner person of one's mate. Yes, you call via facetime, video call via Skype, talk endlessly over the phone. But does that really shows up what a person feels and how they want to react?
Financial Status
Since there are a lot of opportunities for those who live in industrialized countries, they have better financial status than others. That is the agony of not having a luxury of choices. In this regard, those who don't have a choice sometimes seek to be supported by their partners.
You think you're experiencing all these? No worries. Your relationship will not fail. It just take communication and serious planning.
You're still thinking of other factors? Share it with us in the comment section bellow!
Another Year to Celebrate!
It has been two years since we started courting. And now, wuhoo! We are engaged!
How did he proposed? Well, I will try to share the important things that happened but I know I won't able to remember everything.
It Tuesday morning, we worked with some friends. I was so in a bad mood in the morning because I feel so tired, and yes, it was raining that day. He arranged a photowalk with some few close friends and the place is a bit far. I feel sick and all I actually want to do is go home.
Though I know I cannot, we all proceeded to the place. It was an ancient house filled with different camera gears. It was my initial idea to go there for a visit. Though exhausted, I forced myself to enjoy. It was a rough weather for all of us. My feet were soaked into the rain water and my head was in a dizzy state. The place was nice, though. We were all photography enthusiast so we really made every single time to count.
Near the entrance of the museum was an old camera. It is still working, don't judge. One needs to put his head at the back and hid his head under a curtain to see more of what's in the view finder. That is what he made me to do. Not knowing that he has a ring on his hand, he asked me, "What do you see?". At first, it was just his bare hand. So I answered, "Your hand." He then asked, "Is it clear?". Yes it was. So he pulled off the ring from the box and showed it, asking me again, "Now, what do you see?". Of course, I was surprised. All I was able to say was, "Baaabiiii!" And I went closer to him.
My head was still battling between "Is this real?" and "How can this be?". Why? Because we already talked about getting married but haven't talked exactly when. I know that a couple need to be married within six months after getting engaged. And I know that within six months, he will be away for work in his country. So that is the reason why I was struck in my place, and wasn't able to move a muscle.
It was our friends who pulled me off from the camera and asked me to come closer. And then, he bent his knees and finally asked me, "Will you marry me?". All I was able to say was, "Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss." That was pretty long. It ended with a tight hug.
How did he proposed? Well, I will try to share the important things that happened but I know I won't able to remember everything.
It Tuesday morning, we worked with some friends. I was so in a bad mood in the morning because I feel so tired, and yes, it was raining that day. He arranged a photowalk with some few close friends and the place is a bit far. I feel sick and all I actually want to do is go home.
Though I know I cannot, we all proceeded to the place. It was an ancient house filled with different camera gears. It was my initial idea to go there for a visit. Though exhausted, I forced myself to enjoy. It was a rough weather for all of us. My feet were soaked into the rain water and my head was in a dizzy state. The place was nice, though. We were all photography enthusiast so we really made every single time to count.
Near the entrance of the museum was an old camera. It is still working, don't judge. One needs to put his head at the back and hid his head under a curtain to see more of what's in the view finder. That is what he made me to do. Not knowing that he has a ring on his hand, he asked me, "What do you see?". At first, it was just his bare hand. So I answered, "Your hand." He then asked, "Is it clear?". Yes it was. So he pulled off the ring from the box and showed it, asking me again, "Now, what do you see?". Of course, I was surprised. All I was able to say was, "Baaabiiii!" And I went closer to him.
My head was still battling between "Is this real?" and "How can this be?". Why? Because we already talked about getting married but haven't talked exactly when. I know that a couple need to be married within six months after getting engaged. And I know that within six months, he will be away for work in his country. So that is the reason why I was struck in my place, and wasn't able to move a muscle.
It was our friends who pulled me off from the camera and asked me to come closer. And then, he bent his knees and finally asked me, "Will you marry me?". All I was able to say was, "Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss." That was pretty long. It ended with a tight hug.
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